Father's Day 4th of July ... aed89 knew she wanted to have the baby, but she doesn’t want to “force a child on this man that I love that he doesn’t want. Even if you chose to get an abortion, I would leave him. This way, your baby … I will always support a woman’s right to choose an abortion if it is something they feel is necessary. He wouldn't even consider it. In saying all of this, one way to approach the big tell-tale moment is to warm him up to the idea of being a dad. We respect everyone’s right to express their thoughts and opinions as long as they remain respectful of other community members, and meet What to Expect’s Terms of Use. He was very mentally and emotionally abusive towards me & I put... Find advice, support and good company (and some stuff just for fun). We got in to a fight today because he told me he wanted nothing to do with the baby. Every time we talk, we end up arguing because I find his attitude very frustrating. She wants to keep the baby and, well, you don’t. It is not the foundation on which I want … IMO you have 2 options, since abortion is out of the question. One of the most important things you can do to support your kids’ father’s parenting is just that: Allow him to parent. © 2021 Everyday Health, Inc. We found out his ex was pregnant AFTER we started dating. And yet — perhaps this is the point — even if I were someone who was happy doing the hands-on parenting of two kids largely on my own, I would resent it. I wouldn't call him. You are someone’s mother for God’s sake! I am 8 weeks pregnant and don't want to tell the father of my baby. And prompts your old-timey dad to … I misread, I do apologize. It will, believe that! What’s a Car-Loving Dad to Do When His Son Doesn’t Want to Drive? If you want to keep your baby you should, this man can leave you any time but that baby will never. Pregnant and father doesn’t want anything to do with the baby. Although he could see the child and change his mind it doesn't happen often. Just surround yourself with your support system. He told me he had so much hate for me right now, he was so disgusted and for me to stay away from his family. An abortion is your choice. ajb19 member. I just wanted to say you're very brave for standing up for your unborn child, and I applaud you for taking responsibility, just as a good mom does. When I told the father he flipped out and told me he didn't want to be a parent. Im having a hard time (struggling) pay bills and keeping a foof over our head monthly i get evection notices cause I’m robbing peter to pay paul. When I explained to him that I wasn't getting an abortion he got worse. Maybe his mom will talk some sense in to him. I tink it's because he can't even explain why he doesn't want to, he just doesn't want to. I filed for child support, he has yet to pay anything. I was expecting my son to share my sacred tradition. But, hey, rebellion is part of the game. Babies require a lot of care and a reluctant father could easily feel too marginalized to stay in a situation he didn't enter wholeheartedly. When I told the father he flipped out and told me he didn't want to be a parent. Learn more about, 7 Things Your Partner Should Know Before You Go Into Labor. Since turning 35 last month, I have become really worried that if it doesn't happen soon, it might never be possible. Ive done it on my own for the last 3 years.. About a year ago I met a guy who treats my daughter like he's her father. “Another key thing to do is broach the subject as to why your partner doesn’t want kids,” she says. Don't let it … W. Ok, I have a situation that I just need some advice about! He told me he had so much hate for me right now, he was so disgusted and for me to stay away from his family. Make the decision for you and nobody else. I commend the OP for standing by him. He loves her so much and now we are expecting another one. Dad is better attuned to your toddler’s needs and doesn’t feel belittled when he does things differently. It's hard work and it's scary but once that baby gets here you forget the hard part of him not being there and you focus on doing what's right for the baby. She wants her dad and brother and sister but not me. I regret it because I don't want to do this without him. The other two I do not like at all. If a father doesn’t want to be involved with the mother and child, then the mother will most likely become a single mother. We found out his ex was pregnant AFTER we started dating. So I've told him I'm pregnant and I've not decided what I want to do, and he is saying I have to get rid. I desperately want another baby for lots of reasons. The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. Telling me I was forcing him to become a parent, he had a chance to be someone with a living and now that was ruined. If you're still contemplating having a family, you're still young enough to have … What’s a Car-Loving Dad to Do When His Son Doesn’t Want to Drive? By Thomas Courtney. No one should be pressuring you to do anything. Father doesn’t want baby!! It did hit a nerve! This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. It's always hard when you realize that the dad wants nothing to do with the baby, but if you have a great support system and you confident in yourself that you can do it nothing will stop you. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. I deleted my original response because I misread your post. reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. And you may understand them all. For everyone involved. A child so close to majority usually has his preference followed. August 2013 in New to The Bump. My childeren father owes me 21,879 in child support and I want to collect he owns homes and he works under the table and refuses to pay chils support what can I do? There are no special father TV shows, zero Maxim articles on '9 simple cures for nappy rash', and certainly no practice-dad toys like dolls," he said. I’m just conflicted and need a little support!!! Presuming he has not been legally proven to be an unfit parent, you must operate from the premise that he is capable of keeping the kids alive and is allowed to make all decisions when they are in his care. When I see him with his child he already has he is such a good dad which makes me even more upset that he doesn’t want this baby. "A man doesn't … It also sounds like you have a healthy relationship with his mom, which is good news. Keep the baby if you feel you want to as you will only regret it the rest of your life and I can't imagine anything worse. Yesterday I took 4 tests and they all came back positives. Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. I don’t think I could stay with a man if he asked me to abort . I've been hesitant to post about this, but as my due date gets closer, this has been on my mind soooo much ... My baby's father and I were together off and on for about 2 years. ... Franz had a baby-blue … In the short-term, I would give him some time, discuss your situation with whatever counselor or trusted person you talk to, and circle back when he's had time to process this. I'd find a unbiased counselor (your ob/gyn may be able to give you some recommendations) to explore your options and make a decision that feels right to you. Most kids will always want a relationship with their parents. But even if you come resolved in your decision, it's not always the same decision the father … When I explained to him that I wasn't getting an abortion he got worse. I'm so scared. I agree the man is garbage for trying to get her to have an abortion. But even if you come resolved in your decision, it's not always the same decision the father … This is your precious child...if he chooses not to parent with you, then it's ultimately his loss. Any advice please….. my daughter is 9yrs old her father wasn’t the best to begin with wasn’t around when I was pregnant barley around when she was a baby but she doesn’t remember any of that he started been involved properly when she was around 4yrs old, and I mean having her 50% of the time which was fantastic so I could work etc. I was supposed to have a DNA test done at the hospital but after her dad got there he decided there was no way … I was scared and heart broken at first but I've realized that my daughter and I have done just fine with out him. I’m not a lawyer, but as a general rule, a father must help support a child even if he didn’t want it. Create an account or log in to participate. If he doesn't want the child and she does then he would have an equal say over if the procedure is done. I was on the pill, but I was always bad at taking it and we never used a condom. That said, never get an abortion for someone else. If this guy will only stay with you if you abort his baby, he is not worth keeping IMO. I was expecting my son to share my sacred tradition. I wish you the best of luck. He has had no contact with me or my child since that day. 1. if the father doesn't want anything to do with his baby ,tell him to sign them paper to give up his rights, but only if you feel that you can deal with whatever issues that might arrive with your child growing up( question wise) because that's the only thing that matters, your child's life, not his( the father). Situation: You had a fling. I don’t know why you people think growing up without a *** ass father is the worse thing in the world. When I told the father he flipped out and told me he didn't want to be a parent. So this is both of our faults and I'm taking responsibility. We began to start talking again in May-June and then began having a physical relationship. My unborn baby's father has decided he doesn't want anything to do with him/her. They simply raise the child by themselves … Posted by 21 days ago. Carry baby around. Now the father of my baby is not a very good guy, he's cheated on me etc and he already has 2 young children ones nearly 2, ones 9 months. “Perhaps they are scared because of a bad childhood. Another possibility is to invest in a front carrier pack. Pregnant and father doesn’t want anything to do with the baby. But his reaction to her pregnancy is 10000% trash! The issue I have with a father having a say in an abortion is that the door swings both ways. I do not want to hear that any of you arguing with the other woman, start insulting her, and getting into physical altercations with anyone. This man is showing you his true colors, pay attention. W. Ok, I have a situation that I just need some advice about! He doesn’t sound overly committed to you or your relationship and he sounds less worried about losing you, than you do about losing him. You have a lot of time to consider your options. My DP is equally determined that he is quite happy with our son and does not want another baby. Still, this doesn’t stop me from fantasizing about a bigger family. I found out I was pregnant by my boyfriend a few weeks ago and he immediately wanted me to have an abortion. My friends and family have been really supportive but I feel like I’m the one that’s going to be doing this alone 99% of the time and I’m not sure if … He should have used protection, it takes two. But, hey, rebellion is part of the game. Now, that I’m pregnant with his baby, he wants me to get an abortion. But, in every single case, sacrificing your own happiness to keep your partner happy is a recipe for future marital discord.Choosing not to have children must come from your heartfelt desire not to have them. The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. Fathers' rights In some cases the father wants the baby while the mother wants an abortion The abortion issue is largely devoted to dealing with the … Unfortunately, this is a common situation I think. If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly. We were together for almost 5 years, but broke up this January. She is 9 months old and really wants nothing to do with me and I am her mom!. I went to his dad's church and felt a peace about keeping this child... when I told him I wanted to keep the baby.. I feel like the only reason he doesn't want to keep this baby is because he is afraid to tell his parents. One has already been used. This is all so scary, @seannasmommy16 Congratulations! If you have to have an abortion to keep a man it’s a pretty crappy relationship. Your partner has a thousand good reasons s/he doesn't want children. It does happen though. I truly feel men aren’t bad just because they don’t want to be in a relationship. Rude Father Tells His Son Flat-Out He Doesn’t Want Anything To Do With Him There is a reason some people put their kids up for adoption.  Not everyone wants a child or is able to care for … Start by selecting which of these best describes you! He was furious.. When I explained to him that I wasn't getting an abortion he got worse. Father chooses girlfriend over child ~ Do Not Engage and Do No Throw Insults. Of course that doesn't deal with the issues of having to carry the baby. I had asked what names were important in his family and got 3 names. Conclusion. I don't know what to do. If the father of your baby is in jail but is supportive of the adoption, he can still play a role in the adoption process. My ex husband told me when he leaves a relationship, he doesn’t want the kids anymore either....I still left. Yesterday I took 4 tests and they all came back positives. 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